Luke S. asks: “My friend Lyle and I want to see ‘New Moon’ but we don’t want our other buds to know. Any suggestions?”

Ask Red says: The risky way to go is to tell your pals you’re going to watch ‘2012’, then pull down the hoodies and head to a Cinemax in the next county. If someone recognizes you and rats you out, though, you’ll never be invited to another poker game or fantasy football league. It’s best to be upfront with the posse, but with a twist. Tell them you’re heading to flickville because  poon gravitates to the ‘Moon’ and you’re going to snag some moonbeams. If they bite on that then the chances are they’ll be fighting for shotgun.

Night Shift says: Go ahead and make an evening of it.  Do each other’s nails, read your diaries out loud and discuss who’s hotter, Edward or Jacob on the way to the show.  What’s that, you’re dudes and not teenage girls?  That’s a different story.  If you must see it in the theater then I would suggest you buy two tickets for Ninja Assassin and then accidently wander into the New Moon screening.

Faced says: Look, there is no need to contribute to the millions this pile of garbage has made so here's how you solve this. Buy a ticket for another film, ear a hooded sweatshirt, and sit in the back.  I would dodge Red's advice on trying to pick up the ladies however.... unless 14-year-old girls are your thing. Good Luck.