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FUNERAL PROTEST MORONS, TREE HUGGERS AND OTHER RANDOM THOUGHTS

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BY JEFF SMYTH

People have been interpreting the Bible in a lot of nonsensical ways just to fit their warped views of the world for centuries, but the nut jobs at the Westboro Baptist Church have taken it to a new low. They are the ones who protest at the funerals of fallen soldiers. They have deluded themselves into believing they are trumpeting God’s message when all they are doing is spreading despair during a family’s most vulnerable time. The group has blathered that it plans to bring its circus to the services of the young man from Hoyleton who died in Afghanistan this week. Others are lining up to insulate the family from their rantings. If there is such a thing, I’m certain Hell has a corner table next to the kitchen reserved for these whackos.

 

  1. I lay odds that when you come upon a car plastered (and I’m not talking about one or two but myriad) with bumper stickers, the chances are the driver is either a Jesus freak or a tree hugger. They either want to save the planet or save us from ourselves.  I don’t know about you, but I have yet to be influenced by a bumper sticker.
  2. Can anyone explain why taxpayer money is used to erect signs that read “Entering the Perry County Water Conservation District” or the like? What the heck is a water conservation district and why should I care that I am driving into one?
  3. So, General Motors posts a $2 billion profit and everyone is celebrating. Just two years ago (do the math) corporations that made money were deemed as evil, greed mongers. Now that the government has the keys to the executive suite, it is okay to make a little scratch.
  4. I took a lot of grief (and I still am) earlier this year for writing about Pinckneyville’s history of being a “Sundown Town” and how Pinckneyville Coon Club sign on Ill. 127 might be construed as a racial message. Low and behold, the theater department at SIUC recently put on a performance titled, “Sundown in Southern Illinois” and our “Friendly Little City” and that sign were featured. We should all be proud of the recognition. For those unaware, a Sundown Town is one where minorities were “encouraged” not stick around in after sunset.
  5. Does anyone else find the Shake Weight for Men ads on TV a little disconcerting? Maybe the homophobes at the Westboro Baptist Church should be protesting them instead of funerals?
  6. In the past year I’ve seen Head East and Styx perform and a friend recently called and asked if I wanted tickets to the upcoming U2 concert in St. Louis. Am I living in a rock and roll time warp or has the genre just bottomed out and can only regurgitate itself?
  7. In a town that hates change, I’m stunned that there is so little discussion about the fact that the high school will soon be razed to make way for a new structure. That wasn’t the case back in the 1990s when pitchforks and torches were brought out when the same idea was proffered. What is the difference between then and now? The sacrosanct Thomas Gymnasium is not slated for the wrecking ball in this go around. Don’t get me wrong, we have needed a new school since the 1990s, but mess with TG and there will be blood.
  8. Make room at the Smithsonian for street maps and phonebooks.
  9. In today’s 24/7 society is Daylight Savings really necessary? Do we draw interest on those so-called savings?
  10. Deer hunters are now in full rut and cammo is the fashion of the season. I wonder, however, why these beast blasters dress from head to toe in branches and leaves as a disguise and then saunter out into the woods with orange vests and caps on?

2 comments

  • Comment Link Dirty Rat Wednesday, 17 November 2010 15:24 posted by Dirty Rat

    You're never going to get past that daylight savings time are you?

  • Comment Link Highwayman Saturday, 13 November 2010 17:01 posted by Highwayman

    Only one bumper sticker is relevant to me.

    "Honk if your horny"

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