I took it even further and watched the wire-to-wire coverage beginning mid-morning. It was like the pregame shows on Super Bowl Sunday. Every possible angle was explored. Tsunami “experts” were called in. The Google Earth fly downs were shown. Cool computer graphics depicting monster waves screaming across the Pacific Ocean were aired. Of course, the kahuna-on-the-street interviews were conducted.
Interviewer: “What can we expect from this tsunami?”
Kahuna: “I own a surf shop over there. I hope it doesn’t get to the shops but it might.”
Gripping stuff.
My favorite pre-wave analysis came when one of talking heads brought out that magic marker thing that John Madden used to breakdown football plays and scribbled squiggly lines across the TV screen.
“If the tsunami decides to blitz here (squiggly line) the luau is going to have sweep left to avoid a hit,” TV woman said.
It was interesting to listen to the slant the cable networks took in reporting on the expectant mother wave. MSNBC blamed George W. Bush for the devastation that was about to occur.
MSNBC: “This is tsunami revenge for the U.S.’s occupation of Iraq and Afghanistan.”
Fox News faulted Barrack Obama. “If he put as much energy in protecting Hawaii from ocean waves he does on health care we wouldn’t have this mess.”
With the clock ticking down to exactly 3:05 p.m. CST the TV crews were giddy with anticipation. The subtitle “Wave expected any moment” ran across the bottom of the screen. Crowds gathered on cliff sides out of harm’s way.
Then it happened: The clock struck exactly 3:05 p.m. CST. But something was amiss. The ocean looked as tranquil as it did at 3:04 p.m. CST. Where was the tsunami? Did it stop off at the Galapagos Islands for a Mai Tai? Was it camera shy? No one was asking these tough questions. Instead, the networks kept shouting that it was going to come it was going to be bad.
After ninety minutes of trying to convince us the deadly tsunami was still lurking somewhere outside of Hawaii I began comparing the coverage to the pre-release hype of Kevin Costner’s movie, “Waterworld.” Both had alluring apocalyptic store lines that didn’t deliver.
The networks weren’t about to give up. They brought out “experts” who, with straight faces, said the tsunami was occurring as they spoke. It was just that we couldn’t see it. Oooookay.
Reports that Hilo was struck by a five foot was their definitive proof. Five foot wave? Hell, a surfer wouldn’t even get out of bed for that.
Two hours after exactly 3:05 p.m. CST I switched off the tube. I decided it was time that I got a life. When I returned home later that night I tuned in again thinking maybe the tsunami delivered a sucker punch while I was distracted. It hadn’t but the panic persisted. The same news networks were now warning the Japanese to seek higher ground. The killer wave was coming.
Meanwhile, more bodies were being uncovered in Chile. A nation grieved but who had time to concern themselves with that?