The 80s were the days of conspicuous consumption and a president who didn’t tell us ad nauseam that we were a bunch of hedonistic scumbags (no matter how much we earned the title). It was a breezy time and a great one to be young, climbing the success ladder in Allen Edmonds wingtips and writing with Mont Blanc pens.
All eras are defined by their music and in this case it is a no-brainer (I mean that literally. It was brainless music). Mix some Elvis Costello in with the Police, The Boss and U2, which was hitting its stride, and you had a party. Rub some mousse in the hair, get out the skinny piano tie and you became an instant babe magnet. The 80s were the time of the “executive mullet”, a little tidier in the front and shorter in the back than a Joe Dirt doo. Casual Fridays meant brass-buttoned blazers over denim shirts. On weekends it was green, yellow or orange neon shorts and Wayfarers.
This was gin and tonic time (I understand that cocktail is making a comeback) where only Tanqueray or Beefeaters would be poured and the days of Pierre and brie as refrigerator staples.
People drove “Beamers” not because they were exceptional automobiles, but as a way of screaming “eat my shorts, sucker” to guy in the next lane behind of the wheel of a pickup truck (oh, that was me).
Not all was bangin’ about the 80s. The decade brought us MC Hammer and “U Can’t Touch This.” (Don’t want to), parachute pants and Yuppies who wore the collars of their Polo shirts up (I understand the latter is also as revived trend. I swear if I see some tool walking around with his collar up today I’m going to knock him in the snot-box).
Put all of this together it paints a picture of an era that has earned the right to be mocked by today’s young people.
I’d like to check out that Carbondale bar to see how the kids are kicking it ala 80s. Of course, they probably don’t get started until after 10 p.m. For me, the mirror and blade were put away a long time ago so there is no way I can up that late anymore.
GOING DOWN FOR THE LAST TIME: P’town is abuzz about Head East coming here to jam the Perry County Fairgrounds during Mardi Gras. As one who saw another relic rocker, Styx, last year during parents’ weekend at EIU, I can assure you this show will provide pure entertainment, if not comic relief. There is only one problem: aside from “Never Been Any Reason,” can anyone think of other tunes for which the band is known? Many might not have even remembered the name of that song. No cheating by digging out your “Flat as a Pancake” album. Name one off the top of your head.
So I am taking bets on how many times they’ll have to play the song to cover a 45-minute set. I can hear the screams from the audience now, “Play that song. That one song.” “Let’s hear that song.” “How about that song?”